


Of Fathers, Brothers and Sons

by TupPillow



Series: The Schmico Chronicles [2]
Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Brothers, Canon Gay Relationship, Family Drama, Father-Son Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-04-17
Packaged: 2019-11-26 13:35:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18181283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TupPillow/pseuds/TupPillow
Summary: A guessing game has unintended consequences for Nico and Levi.





	1. The Reveal: Fun and Games

“Why don’t Koreans have middle names?”

Levi Schmitt’s question didn’t register at first with Nico Kim. Nico was deep into an paper from the _Journal of the American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons_  on his iPad: “Validation of a Novel Surgical Data Capturing System After Hip Arthroscopy.” The usual light reading.

“Hmm?” Nico said, after realizing Levi had asked... _what?_

“Middle names.” Levi pointed at his iPad. “The whole...names thing in Korea. Why no middle names?”

Nico looked up from his iPad. “Aren’t you supposed to be studying?” The living room futon they were both camped out on was strewn with textbooks, papers and notes.

“I _am_ studying,” Levi said with trace of whine. “Just not...medical stuff.”

“Babe, seriously -- _medical stuff?_ That’s -- hilarious.” Nico gave Levi a trace of a smile.

Levi threw down his tablet and twisted toward Nico. “Oh, I’m so sorry, Doctor -- “ Levi craned his neck to look at Nico’s screen - ‘Novel Surgical Data Capturing System.’ I guess I’m not taking my studies _seriously_ enough, huh?” Levi did his best Nico-smirk imitation, which almost always made Nico laugh.

Nico laughed. His put down his iPad and turned to Levi.

“Okay, babe, you win. So...what about Korean names?”

“ _Middle_ names! You guys don’t have middles names. I want to know why.”

Nico looked at Levi in amused wonder. How did this nerdy, sweet and smart man end up on his living room futon? In his life?

“So…?” Levi prompted, breaking Nico’s train of thought. “Middle names? Or...don’t you know?”

“Don’t be a smart-ass, Levi _Joshua_ Schmitt.” Ever since Nico found out about Levi’s middle name, he enjoyed using it like Levi’s mom did when she was trying to make a point. Levi rolled his eyes as Nico continued. “Look...the naming culture in Korea can get really complicated. It’s  based on family generations, gender, family connections -- it sometimes can depend where someone lives. Like actual village geography.”

“See!” Levi said triumphantly. “ _That’s_ what I’m talking about!”

“What?” Nico asked, confusion in his voice.

“You! Your history. Sometimes you’re kind of...mysterious to me.”

Nico dipped his head slightly, then looked back to Levi with smirk. “ _Dramatic_ , dude.”

Levi’s face turned serious. He reached for Nico’s hand.

“Nico, I mean it. Sometimes I feel like I’ve spilled my whole life out to you, and I still know so little about yours. I mean, Mom gave you almost our entire family history that night you met her.”

“Yeah, Nico said, “that was...a _lot_.”

“And it’s great, and I’m glad to share it all with you. But I found out you had a sister almost by accident! I mean,” Levi’s voice dropped, “I’d just like to know more about my boyfriend. That’s all.”

 _Be careful_ , a warning voice sounded in Nico’s head.

“Okay.” Nico said. “Ready Player One.” Levi giggled.  “What do you want to know?”

Levi scooted closer, real excitement in his face. “Um...okay. What’s your dad’s name?”

Nico frowned. “Really? That’s your first question?”

“Come _on_ ,” Levi said, playfully punching Nico’s arm. Nico remained silent a moment.

“My dad’s given name is Dae-Hwan, but he goes by David. David Kim,” Nico finally said.

“Awesome!” Levi blurted. “Does _he_ have a middle name?”

Nico remained stoic. “No. That’s one of the few things he doesn’t have.”

Levi caught Nico’s tone. “Wait...what does that mean?”

Nico shook his head. “Nothing. Sorry.” Nico half-smiled. “Go on.”

Levi closed his eyes, trying to think of the next question. He popped them open and asked, “Is your sister Sunny older or younger than you?”

“She’s the oldest of us.” Nico’s response hit the air, and he instantly realized his mistake. “I mean --”

“Wait,” Levi cut him off. “You said _‘us_.’ What does --"

“I meant, like, uh, _‘us’_ as in like, you and me.” And the warning voice in his head came back with a vengeance. _You’re a really shitty liar, Nico Kim._

“No,” Levi said slowly, “I don’t think that’s what you meant.” Nico closed his eyes. Levi persisted, “Nico? Come on. It isn’t what you meant, is it?” Then it dawned on him. “Oh my God, there’s more of you, isn’t there? There’s more Kims!” Levi’s voice went up a notch. “I knew it!”

Game over.

Nico jumped off the futon and started pacing. His mind started swirling with anger: with himself, with Levi, with the whole goddamn stupidity of the moment. _Dumb! How fucking dumb are you?_ Then he suddenly started mumbling in Korean the same words that were burning his head in English.

Levi, stunned, tried getting his attention. “Babe! Nico! Please, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you or anything --”

Nico stopped pacing and whirled on him. ‘Well, you did! You have!” He started pacing again. Levi had never seen Nico like this before. He jumped off the futon and started towards Nico, who turned on him again and put his hands up, stopping him.

“Okay! Okay, _Levi Joshua Schmitt!_ ” Nico spat out Levi’s names. Levi looked stricken. “You want to know the big mystery in my life. You _do_ , right?” Levi simply stared. “Here’s the big mystery!” Nico swept to the futon and grabbed Levi’s tablet. “Maybe you’ll want to Google it, for further study!”

“Nico,” Levi said weakly, “ _please_ , I’m sorry --”

“No!” Nico flung the tablet back onto the futon. “You wanna know? I have a brother! Yeah, isn’t that fun? _A brother!_ Oh, and let’s amp it up, because, hell, why not, right?!” Nico’s volume went up a notch. “He’s my _twin!_ Yeah, how’s that for drama, he’s my twin brother! And he’s a _fucking mess!_ ”

Levi tried again. “Babe, _please_ \-- “

“He’s failed at everything! I go to Stanford Med and graduate top ten, he flunked out of community college! _Community college!”_ Nico snorted with scorn. “How do you even fucking do that? But hey, no problem, because Dad’s there to bail him out. Just like he bailed him out of _real_ jail after his first, or third or whatever DUI charge.”

Levi, defeated, collapsed back on the futon.

“My brother is a dumpster fire! Even _Sunny_ can’t make fun of him anymore! It’s too easy. But every time, there’s Dad, good old Dad, bailing him out, making excuses and still finding ways to make him look better than me! And you know why? _Do you?_ ” Nico’s eyes burned into Levi’s. Levi shook his head silently. “ _B_ _ecause Gio is straight, and I’m gay!_ And that’s the fucking bottom line with my Dad!”

The room seemed to vibrate with Nico’s fury. Then came silence, which seemed to last forever. And was worse.

Levi tried once more. “I’m... _so, so_ sorry, Nico. I didn’t --”

“ _Know?_ ” Nico snorted again. “Well, now you do.” He waved his hand. “Mystery solved.”

 _And now you’ve torched your boyfriend, you complete asshole._ The voice in Nico’s head was smug in it’s satisfaction. Nico snapped out of his fury. He realized he was panting. He grabbed his running shoes off the floor and stuffed his feet into them.

“I have to get some air,” he said, walking to the shelf by the door, and grabbing his keys and his phone. “I’ll...I’ll be back in a little while.” He yanked the door and was gone.

Levi sat stunned on the side of the futon. “And _I’m_ dramatic?” he asked the empty room. He flopped backwards and closed his eyes.

***

  
Nico tore down the steps from his apartment like he was drilling into the ground. He burst out of the building’s front door and turned right, out of his usual running habit. The fast walk became a trot, which became an angry sprint. The damp chill of the Seattle night air streamed past his face.

 _Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!_ The voice drummed in his head until he couldn’t hear anything else. Four blocks from the apartment, he found a bus stop bench and collapsed. He hugged his goose-pimpled arms and bent over. He felt sick.

How could he have exploded like that? Levi had pushed, sure, but his response was so out of line. Levi loved him. All he wanted was to know more about his boyfriend. Was that so terrible?

Maybe it was.

Nico heard the faint echo of his mother’s voice, the day he told her he was moving to Seattle for his fellowship. “Running away from your family won’t solve anything,” she had said.

Running away. Is that what he was doing? Wasn’t that what he had just done? Wasn’t that the story of his life?

His phone chimed in the pocket of his sweats. He pulled it out and saw Levi’s text.

_hey. i’m headed to my mom’s. u need ur space._

No! No no no no! Nico fumbled as he tried to reply.

 _Babe no pls pls pls! don’t go! i’m headed back i’m so sorry i’m an idiot --_ "Fuck it!" Nico yelled. He pushed Call. Please answer, please, please answer…

Levi picked up.

“Hey,” he said so softly, it nearly killed Nico.

“Babe! Babe, please! I’m so sorry! I’m a complete dick! Please don’t go. I’m headed back right now.” Levi was silent on the other end. “Baby, _please!_ I need to explain.” Nico paused. “I need you, Levi!” Nico tightened his grip on the phone. “ _I need you!_ ”

After an agonizing few more seconds of silence, Levi finally replied.

“I’ll be waiting.” Before Nico could respond, Levi beeped off.

Nico cradled the phone in both hands, and started rocking on the bench. Tears squeezed out of his eyes in anger and relief. Something had just happened to Nico Kim, that had never happened before. He’d said “I need you” to someone.

And he’d actually meant it.

***

  
Nico quietly turned the key and opened the apartment door. He closed it carefully behind him. He did a quick scan of the living area. For minute, he panicked. _Where is it? Please don’t say he left! Where’s the --_

Then he spotted the backpack, next to the TV. Levi was still there.

A dim glow of light spilled out of the bedroom into the hallway. Nico took a deep breath and walked to the door. Turning into the room, he saw him: Levi, sitting crossed-legged and naked, in the middle of the bed.

“Hey,” Levi said.

“Hey, yourself,” Nico replied, with a tentative half-smile.

Levi’s eyes swept Nico up-and-down. “Uh...it’s kind of weird being the only naked person in the room. So...could you…?” Levi’s eyes raked Nico again.

“On it.” Nico heeled-off his shoes, pulled his t-shirt off from the waist, and shucked his briefs and his sweats in one motion, kicking them into the corner. He stood stock-still.

Levi's gaze swept Nico again, stopping below the waist.

“The Roman statue returns.” He tried, and failed, to suppress a giggle.

Nico slowly approached the bed. He kneeled into it, then reached for Levi and pulled him into his arms, resting his head on top of Levi’s.

 “I...I can’t apologize enough. I’m sorry to the bottom of my heart.” He pulled Levi away, and ran his hands through Levi’s hair. “I was such an asshole. You should never, _ever_ be treated that way.” Sudden tears started falling. “I’m so sorry, baby, so sorry…” Nico buried his head into Levi’s shoulder.

“Hey. _Hey_ ,” Levi said. He pulled back to look at Nico. “It’s my fault, too. I was dumb, pushing you to talk about stuff you’re obviously not comfortable with -- “

Nico put a finger to Levi’s lips.

“Wait!” Levi mumbled against Nico’s finger. “Are you _shushing_ me?”

“Yeah,” Nico said. “But not in a shame-spiraling way.” The reference made Levi giggle again. Nico’s finger traced Levi’s lips, then he pulled Levi in for a soft kiss. He pulled back.

“It _wasn’t_ your fault. And you’re _not_ dumb. Levi, my family…” Nico sighed a pause. “My family...is really messed-up. I’ve had to kind of box-up my feelings about all of them -- Mom, Dad, Sunny and...especially Gio, for years.” Nico looked away. Just saying his brother’s name aloud was difficult. He looked at Levi again. “I want to tell you everything. But it’s going to take time.”

Levi reached up and touched Nico’s face. “Take all the time you need, Nico _DramaQueen_ Kim.” Levi smiled. “That’s your new middle name.” Nico laughed. Levi squirmed against him, and then a slow smile spread across his face.

“And now…” Levi said in a soft growl, “we need to take care of _this_.” Levi reached down between Nico’s legs and grabbed his rock-hard erection. Nico responded with a groan. He raked his hands through Levi’s chest hair.

“I can go for that,” Nico said, as they both fell sideways on the bed.

 ***

  
In the darkness, later, as they lay wrapped around each other, Levi stirred.

“Nico? Babe, are you awake?”

Nico hummed a response. “Umm...what is it, Levi Joshua Schmitt?”

“We’re...kind of getting glued together. With…”

“Cum?” Nico chuckled softly.

Levi buried his face into Nico’s chest. That word always seemed to make Levi blush in the dark.

“We might...want to get... a washcloth...or something…”

“Or we can stayed glued together till morning,” Nico said softly. “Would that be so bad?”

“Easy for you, Mister Roman Statue,” Levy said. “Last time this happened, when we peeled apart, I lost a patch of hair on my stomach the size of quarter!” Nico snorted. “It really hurt!” Levi said in mock outrage.

Nico gently pried himself from Levi, and padded to the bathroom. Levi heard the faucet run. Then Nico came back with a wrung-out washcloth. He kneeled next to Levi, and slowly and carefully wiped him off. Levi reached out and cupped Nico’s face.

“You are beautiful, and kind, and hot and smart and perfect and I love you.” Levi’s hand slid to Nico's chest. “And whenever you’re ready, you can tell me anything about you, your family, whatever you want.”

Nico looked down at Levi, and shook his head. “I don’t even know where to start.”

Levi pulled himself up on the bed, and took Nico’s hand.

“Start from the beginning.”


	2. The Ask: Wisdom and Cheesecake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The past and the present give Nico and Levi a memorable evening.

_My grandfather was fifteen when the Korean War broke out. His village was only thirty miles from Seoul. It was destroyed. In the confusion, he managed to find one of his sisters. He grabbed her and ran. They ran for three days._

Did they -- did they ever find the rest of the family?

_No, babe. He never saw his parents, or his other brothers and sisters again._

Oh my God, Nico! That’s horrible!

_He hardly ever spoke about it. He came to the U.S. as part of Korean refugee resettlement program. He and his sister ended up being formally adopted by the Korean family that helped to sponsor them. Their name was Kim._

Wait...so your _actual_ family name isn’t really Kim?

_It’s the name my grandfather took. My father asked him once, what their real family name was. My grandfather said he would never speak that name again. “Geu gwageoneun na-ege jug-eossda,” he told my father._

What does that mean, Nico?

_It means, “That past is dead to me.”_

***

“And then, he comes out, _stark naked!_ I thought we’d lose your Aunt Karen right then and there!” The older man’s laughter became a wheeze.

“Uncle Mike!” Levi Schmitt’s voice was almost a squeak. “That’s so embarrassing!”

“Whaaat?” Mike Schmitt drew out the word. “You were _three!_   What’s to be embarrassed about?”

“He still does that sometimes -- just walks into a room naked. It’s awesome.” Nico Kim turned to Levi and smirked.

“Nico!” Levi shrieked. _"Se_ _riously?_ ”

“See? The _boyfriend_ gets it.” Mike Schmitt put a spin on the word “boyfriend,” which made Nico snort with laughter.

“Okay, done! I’m done!” Levi rose from his uncle’s dining room table and started gathering the plates. “I will not sit here and be embarrassed to death!”

Mike Schmitt clasped his nephew’s arm. “ _Levichik_ , come on. No one’s _embarrassing_ anybody.” He turned to Nico. “Such a drama, this one.” Mike looked back at Levi, affection in his eyes.

Levi immediately tuned to Nico. “Don’t _even_ respond to that. You hear me?” Nico shook his head and laughed. “God! I should’ve _known_ you two would bond instantly and I’d be sorry!” Levi swept the last of the plates from the table. “I’m cleaning up. If anyone cares to apologize, I’ll be washing dishes.” Levi turned with a vengeance, nearly spilling the plates. “ _Shit!_ ” He vanished into the kitchen.

Mike Schmitt’s wheezing laugh made Nico smile again. “It’s almost too easy, isn’t it? I love that boy, but sometimes....”

“Yeah, Nico replied. “I love that boy, too.”

Mike’s wheezing subsided. “That’s obvious, Doctor Kim. And I, for one, couldn’t be happier. For both of you.” Mike patted Nico’s hand. “Levi’s had a difficult road. Not that his mother hasn’t done everything she can for him,” he added hastily. “Rachel has. But still.” Mike paused. “Levi’s said you’ve had a kind of tough go, too.” Nico immediately frowned.

“What has he told you?”

“Nothing specific. Just that you’ve shared some family history with him and well…”  Mike sighed. “That you’ve had issues with a brother, and with your father.”

For a moment, Nico felt a small jet of anger flare inside. These were deeply private things, hard things for Nico to talk about. Why would Levi --

“Listen,” Mike broke Nico’s chain of thought. “He just said that you’ve struggled with your dad and brother over the years. He didn’t say why. He didn’t betray any confidences. Levi would never do that.”

The anger faded in Nico’s chest. “I know he wouldn’t,” Nico said.

Mike Schmitt stared directly into Nico’s eyes.

“Doctor Kim, I know of family drama. Levi -- he told you about his sister, Lilly, right?” Nico nodded. Mike half-turned in his chair. He pointed to a dusty picture hanging above the sofa in the living room. “Do an _alter kocker_ a favor. Go in there and take that picture off the wall.” Nico looked at the spot, then turned back to Mike in confusion. “We,” Mike said, “are going to talk of fathers, brothers and sons.”

***

_My grandfather taught himself English by watching TV. Then he taught himself how to repair TVs. Then he taught himself the business of buying and selling TVs. By the time he married my grandmother, he had a chain of TV and appliance stores all over San Diego._

Wow. The American Dream, huh?

_Yeah, Korean-style. My dad is oldest of their five children. They lived in the Koreatown section and stayed pretty much to themselves. But my dad wanted more. He didn’t want to go into the appliance business. He wanted to go into the money business._

What’s the ‘money business’?

_Finance. Investments. Dad always told me, “Business runs on money. So whoever runs the money, runs everything.”_

***

“That’s my family,” Mike said, pointing to each person in photo. “Mama and Papa, me, my sister Leah, my brother Ben, my sisters Alice and Shirley -- they’re twins -- and finally, my brother Hal. Levi’s father.”

Nico looked closely at picture. “When was this taken?” Nico asked.

Mike thought a moment. “Sixty-five, I think. I was still in high school. It was a few years before I was drafted.”

“Drafted? You were in Vietnam?”

Mike nodded. “Yeah. Fun, it wasn’t.”

Nico looked at the photo again. “How old was Levi’s dad then?”

Mike squinted at the faded picture. “I think, maybe three or four. Wait,” Mike closed his eyes. “If I was sixteen, he was four. We’re twelve years apart.”

Nico gently traced a finger on the glass frame. “Levi, in that picture with his sister -- he looks a lot like his dad at that age.”

Mike nodded and sighed. “Hal was a cute kid. Then he grew up and became --” Mike trailed off. He looked at Nico with weary eyes. “Doctor Kim, I did everything I could to help Hal. He was my baby brother. When his drinking and his other problems -- when things got bad, I tried my best to help. All of us did.” Mike looked away, then back to Nico. “My parents, they chose not to see. I yelled at my father one time, really yelled, about how Hal was tearing his family apart. I somehow thought, stupid me, my papa could fix it. He was a great fixer, papa was. But there was no fixing this.”

***

_My dad’s always been very -- driven. He had certain goals, and he didn’t let anything get in his way to achieving them._

He sounds a lot like you, Nico.

_No, babe. I mean, I'm driven. But my dad, he’s like a truck. He wanted a scholarship to Stanford. He got it. He wanted to marry my mom, who’s from one of the most prominent Italian-American families in San Francisco. They got married. And dude, believe me, that took some major balls._

Did you father’s family object?

_Both families did, although mom’s side eventually came around. My Korean grandparents almost didn’t come to the wedding._

No way!

_My mom’s side, the DiFranchescos, they all showed. But the Kims almost didn’t. It drove a real wedge between my dad and his father._

That had to be really hard on your dad, Nico.

_Levi, you’ll find out, if something hurts my dad, he’ll never show it._

***

Nico reached out and put his hand on Mike’s arm. “Is Levi’s dad still alive?”

Mike shook his head. “I don’t think so, no. How _terrible_ is that, that you don’t know if your own brother is dead or alive?” Mike shook his head again. “When Hal left, no one, not me, not Levi’s mother, nobody knew where he went. He _said_ he was going to Los Angeles, but when Lilly needed that transplant, my brother Ben and I, we spent months trying to find him. We never did.”

Mike closed his eyes. “I don’t like to remember that time. The toll it took on Rachel, on Levi…” Mike opened his eyes again, his pain evident to Nico. “I tried to be a father to Levi, as best I could. My late wife, Karen, and me, we never had children of our own, so our nieces and nephews became our kids. We always had a special place in our hearts for Levi. As far as I’m concerned, Levi is my son.”

Nico smiled. “When he told me we were coming to dinner tonight, he said ‘Uncle Mike, he’s really my dad.’ I told him I couldn’t wait to meet his father.”

Mike Schmitt took a sharp intake of breath.

“Doctor Kim --- Nico -- listen. I don’t know what the trouble is between you and your father and brother. My business, it’s not. But I’ve had some experience with these things. Do what you can to work it out. Do your best. But don’t beat yourself up if you can’t.” He paused a moment. “You know, one my favorite quotes is from James Baldwin.” Nico’s eyebrows shot up. “Yeah, this old Jewish man likes to quote James Baldwin. So sue me.” Nico laughed. “Baldwin says, ‘Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced.’” Mike gave Nico a penetrating stare. “You understand?”

Nico nodded. “Yes, I do, Mr. Schmitt. I do.”

“Whaaat is this, with the ‘Mister Schmitt’ business?” Mike asked, pointing at Nico. “You call me Uncle Mike, you get it? Or else I don’t answer!” Mike’s wheezing laugh filled the room. Nico joined in.

“Okay, Uncle Mike. It’s a deal.”

Levi sailed back into the dining room, wiping his hands.

“Okay, it’s cheesecake time and -- “ Levi stopped, and looked from Nico to his uncle. “Okay! What’s so funny? Uncle Mike, are you telling him _another_ embarrassing story about me?” Levi’s eyes shot accusingly to Mike, who rolled his.

“ _Oy gevalt_ , _Levichik_ \-- not everything is about you!” This caused Mike and Nico to splutter with laughter again.

“Fine!” Levi turned with an attitude back to the kitchen. At doorway, he turned back. “I’m cutting the biggest piece -- for me!” He exited with a flourish.

Mike and Nico turned to each other and said simultaneously, “Drama!” And they broke up laughing again.

***

_Gio started drinking and getting high when we were fifteen. I knew about it. He never really tried to hide it. It started when our parents sent us to this private school, Hopkins Prep. Not a lot of Asian kids, we stood out. Major stress for both of us._

Did you ever tell your parents about Gio’s drinking?

_I tried. Dad wasn’t around much. He’d just started a new investment company and was traveling a lot. Mom was -- she had own issues._

Like what?

_Babe...my mom’s...bipolar. She’s struggled her whole life. There were times she would just...disappear. I found out later it was for in-patient treatment. But no one told us anything._

Jesus, Nico. I’m so sorry --

_You learn to deal with it. I dealt with it be being the smart Asian kid who also worked out a lot, to keep from being beaten up for being the smart Asian kid. Gio -- since we’re fraternal, not identical twins, he’s actually bigger than me, so he didn’t have to lift weights to keep from being beaten-up. He just started drinking and smoking weed._

When did you parents finally find out? About Gio?

_The night he totaled his car on the Bay Bridge. He was eighteen. That was the first time Dad cleaned up his mess. It was just the beginning._

***

“Thanks so much for dinner, Uncle Mike. It was great.” Levi smiled at his uncle.

In the doorway, Mike looked at Levi and Nico and smiled back. He reached out and put his hands on their shoulders.

“Listen,” he said quietly. “Life -- “ He stopped and looked away for moment, then looked back at them. “Life, it’s not so easy. It’s not supposed to be. But two things I know. One, it’s better if you have someone’s hand to hold while you go through it.” Levi and Nico exchanged a quick look. “And two, it all turns on a dime. What’s the old John Lennon saying? ‘Life is what happens to you --”

“‘-- while you’re busy making other plans.’” Nico finished his sentence. Mike smiled.

“You, I like.” He turned to Levi. “Keep him around, okay?” Levi smiled, looked at Nico, then nodded to his uncle, biting a lip to keep control.

Nico leaned into Mike, and whispered into his ear. “Thanks, Uncle Mike.” He drew back and smiled.

For moment, the older man could not speak. Then he patted Nico’s shoulder and nodded. Mike turned to Levi and said softly, “ _Shalom berakhah ve-tovah._ ” He drew Levi in, and kissed him on the top of his head. “Now, off you go. I gotta go upstairs and say my prayers. Or nurse my grudges.” He shrugged. “Same difference.” He patted them on their shoulders again. “Go. Be safe driving.”

“Love you, Uncle Mike.” Levi’s eyes were full. Then he and Nico turned and headed down the walk to Nico’s car. Nico reached for Levi’s hand as they walked.

Mike Schmitt watched them a moment. _"Shalom berakhah ve-tovah,”_ he repeated to himself as he waved them off. Then slowly, he turned and went inside. The door closed with a soft click.

***

“Uncle Mike’s a trip, isn’t he?” Levi had been staring out the passenger window of Nico’s car.

“He’s great.”

Levi was silent for  moment. “He told you about my dad, didn’t he?”

Nico nodded. “And he told me, you’d told _him_ about my dad and brother.”

For moment, Levi panicked. “Nico! I never told him anything specific. Just that you --”

Nico put a hand on Levi’s knee. “Babe, I know. It’s okay.” Levi relaxed. “I know you’d never share anything without asking me.”

“I just thought -- given what happened in my family, he might be able to, you know --”

“Deliver some wisdom with the cheesecake?” Nico smiled. “He quoted James Baldwin and John Lennon. Pretty awesome.”

Levi smiled. “He is pretty awesome. So...wisdom?”

Nico was silent for moment. He struggled to find the words. “He...he said I should try to fix what’s wrong between me and brother and dad. If I can. But not to have any regrets if I can’t.” Nico looked at Levi. “Something like that.”

“So what do you think?" Levi asked. “Do you want to try to fix it?”

Nico was silent for a long moment. They had arrived at Nico’s apartment. Nico swung the car into a parking space, and cut the engine. He stared out the windshield.

“What was that he said to you?” Nico asked. “As we were leaving.”

“It’s Hebrew. _Shalom berakhah ve-tovah_. It roughly means, ‘Peace and a blessing to you all.’” Levi put his hand on Nico’s leg. “He meant it for both of us.”

Nico slowly put his head down on the steering wheel. Levi rubbed his back.

“Babe? Are you okay?”

Nico turned and looked at Levi. Silent tears were running down his face. Levi quickly pulled his boyfriend to him.

“Nico! Nico Nico Nico.” Levi repeated Nico’s name like a soft lullaby, still rubbing his back, trying to comfort Nico as best he knew how.

Nico pulled away from Levi, then reached for him and pulled him in for kiss. He pulled away again.

“Babe, I know you sometimes call me perfect.” Levi started to speak, but Nico continued. “I know you don’t mean it literally. But I’m so far from it. Sometimes, I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.”

Levi reached for Nico’s face. “That’s true for everyone.”

Nico nodded. “I know, _I know_. But...I’ve put up this -- facade. I’m really good at what I _do_. But sometimes I don’t think I’m very good at who I _am._ ” Levi remained silent, gently brushing Nico’s cheek with his thumb. Nico took Levi’s hand and kissed it.

“I came out to my family when I was a freshman in college. I wanted my family to _see_ me. Really _see_ who I was. My family accepted it -- me -- but we’ve never really talked about it since. Sometimes I think they still don't see me. I’m still hidden, still the smart Asian kid in school trying not get beat-up. Only now, I don’t want to get beat-up emotionally from my own family. I want to fix that. I know I have to try.”

Nico looked directly into Levi’s eyes. “But I can’t do it alone. I’m going to need your help.” Nico brushed his hand on Levi’s cheek. “Will you help me, Levi Joshua Schmitt?”

Levi placed his hand over Nico’s.

“When do we start?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Korean and Hebrew translations are from the internet. I hope they are reasonably accurate. 
> 
> I know this chapter is long. But Nico deserved it.


	3. The Realization: Voices and Loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A tragedy forces Nico to listen to the voices from the past, and make a decision.

_Sometimes, I can hear my mom’s voice. It’s not loud, but I can hear it. It comes at really quiet times. Like when I’m in surgery, and it’s getting really intense, but quiet. Or if I wake up in the middle of night. I feel Levi’s head on my chest. He’s sound sleep, breathing so softly it’s like a purr. That’s when I hear her. I hear her sad, gentle voice._

_I hear my my sister’s voice, too. When I think I’ve done something dumb, or if I feel awkward, Sunny’s voice cuts through my head like a knife. Usually the word “dork” is involved._

_I can even hear my brother Gio’s voice sometimes. He had has a way saying “duuude” that’s pretty unique._

_But I never hear my father’s voice. Why? I see him. I can see him now. But I never hear his voice._

“Hey.”

Levi Schmitt was leaning against the hallway wall, staring at Nico Kim’s bent figure at the teak dining table. Nico looked up and closed his notebook.

“You should be asleep.” Nico’s voice was low and middle-of-the-night rough around the edges.

“ _You_ should be asleep. In bed. With me.” Levi’s voice had a tease in it.

Nico held up his notebook. “Just doing the writing therapy thing.”

Levi shuffled to table and sat next to Nico. He held onto the droopy sweats he was wearing with one hand.

“Babe, I know Dr. Golder suggested the journaling as a way of sorting out your feelings. And I think it’s awesome. But --”

“I shouldn’t be doing it at four in the morning, right?” Nico half-smiled. “But with my schedule, when _can_ I do it? It’s not like I can stop in the middle of a hip replacement and jot down my epic feelings about my family.” Nico put his face in his hands. “Maybe this is just stupid, anyway --”

“No, Nico,” Levi insisted, “I don’t think it’s stupid. I just --- I want to be able to help you more." Levi reached for Nico’s neck. “I just want you to not wake up in the middle of the night.”

Nico took Levi’s hand and held it. “I know, baby. And you _are_ helping me, just like I asked you to. You’re the one who found Dr. Golder for me, and she’s been great.”

“Thank Casey for that. He made the suggestion.”

“But you checked her out. With everything else you’ve got going on, you did that for me.” Nico ran his hand lightly over Levi’s cheek. “I still don’t know how I deserved to have you in my life.”

“Dangerous cheese level, Doctor Kim,” Levi said with smirk.

“Like Uncle Mike says, so sue me.” Nico replied, with a smirk of his own. In one swift, panther-like movement, he shot out of his chair and grabbed Levi by the hand, pulling him into the living area. Levi tried to keep the sweatpants up.

“Whaat’s up with this, Doctor Kim?” Levi asked with a laugh, imitating Uncle Mike’s voice.

Nico pulled away from Levi. “Drop the sweats,” he commanded in a low growl.

Levi smiled. “Oh, _really?_ Okay...but lose the shirt first,” Levi growled back.

Nico yanked his Sounders FC shirt off in one motion. “ _Nice_ ,” Levi whispered.

Nico squinted hard at Levi. “Sweats. Now.”

Levi raised his hands and let the sweats fall to the ground. “Nice, yourself,” Nico whispered back. Levi kicked the sweats away, then quickly stepped into Nico and yanked his boxer briefs to the floor. He stood up and smiled at Nico. “Now what, Doctor Kim?”

Nico stepped out his fallen briefs and into Levi, their bodies pressed together. Then he hauled Levi into his arms, Levi jumping up and wrapping his legs around Nico’s waist.

“Now, Doctor Schmitt, I’m taking you back to bed.” Nico kissed Levi ferociously. Then he walked the two of them back to the bedroom, slamming the door with his foot.

***

“... and the lecture on percutaneous diskectomy was awesome. Wasn’t it, Doctor Kim?” Dr. Lincoln’s question had a tinge of sarcasm. Nico didn’t respond. Link snapped his fingers. “Dude! Where are you?”

Nico shook his head. “Sorry. What?”

“It appears Doctor Kim’s thoughts were elsewhere.” Dr. Bailey’s voice was smooth.

The three of them were standing at the desk on five east. Nico had been trying to concentrate on the conversation about the lecture. But suddenly, his mother’s voice had come unbidden to him. _“He just needs time, Nico.”_ The soft lilt of her voice echoed in Nico’s mind.

“Dude!” Link’s voice betrayed real irritation. “Doctor Bailey asked you a question!”

Nico dipped his head, then looked up at Bailey. “I’m so sorry, Doctor Bailey. I’ve just had -- a lot on my mind recently.”

“Understood, Doctor Kim. But I _did_ want to know what you thought of the lecture.”

“It was very -- informative.” Nico tried to smile. Bailey did not return it.

“That’s usually what people say when they hate something.” She turned to Link. “I assume you hated it too.”

“No! I thought it was... _more_ than informative.” Link’s insincere smile matched his tone.

“Grow the hell up, Doctor Lincoln.” She turned to Nico. “Doctor Kim, could you spare me a few moments of your time later today. Say, four?”

Nico’s mind spun. _Four, four -- shit!_ That was his appointment time with Dr. Golder. Nico had not shared the fact of his therapy sessions with anyone but Levi. “Uh, could we make it five, Doctor Bailey?”

“No, we could not. I will see you at four.” Bailey turned and bustled down the hall.

Link watched her leave, then turned back to Nico. “What is _up_ with you lately? Sometime I think you’re not on the planet outside of the OR.” Nico gave Link a blank look. “I mean, you don’t _negotiate_ with Doctor Bailey. Okay?” Nico was silent. “Are you -- okay?’

Nico frowned. “I’m fine. I need to take care of some stuff.” Nico turned and started off down the hallway.

“Nico,” Link called. Nico turned back. “You can always talk to me, if you need to.”

Nico nodded. “Thanks.” He turned and walked on, leaving Link with the uneasy feeling that Nico Kim was anything but fine.

***

_The night I came out to my parents, my dad had just flown back from some business meeting in -- somewhere. He was hardly ever home anymore. My mother was trying her best to make-believe everything was okay. I was in the middle of my freshman year at Stanford. I had a boyfriend. I was gay. I told them everything. Maybe I thought if I jolted them with my coming out, they’d stop talking about by brother Gio’s latest fuck-up, which they did non-stop through dinner._

_The silence from my father was deafening. He just looked at me. He looked_ _through_ _me. I wanted him to see me for who I was. Instead, I felt more invisible than ever. He got up from his chair, walked over to me, and said, “I don’t know why you would ever feel the need to tell me this.” Then he walked out of the room. I watched him go. I wanted to scream, to cry, anything to make him turn back and see me. But I just sat there._

_My mother came up to me, hugged me, and whispered, “It’ll be alright. He just needs time, Nico.” I looked at her and said, “What about what I need, Mom?” She didn’t answer me._

Nico looked at the last sentence he’d written. _She didn’t answer me._ Maybe that was the reason this was all weighing in on him now; so much unfinished business.

Nico closed the notebook. Sitting in his car in the Grey-Sloan parking garage at twelve-thirty in the morning wasn’t the ideal place to be writing. But after spacing-out with Bailey that morning, missing his appointment with his therapist and then having to assure Bailey during the excruciating meeting in her office that afternoon that, yes, he was fine; no, he didn’t need a break from his fellowship; yes, he felt he could meet Dr Lincoln’s expectations and no, his relationship with Dr. Schmitt wasn’t “complicating” things -- he was wrung-out, but determined to get his thoughts out of his head and on paper.

His phone rang. It was Levi’s “Big Bang Theory” ringtone, which made him smile.

“Hey, babe. You shouldn’t be up. I’m in the car and I’ll be home in --"

Nico heard a soft sob on the other end.

“Levi! _Babe!_ What’s the matter? What --”

“Nico,” Levi’s voice was cracking. “Nico...it’s Uncle Mike. He...he...died.”

“ _What?_ How? When?”

“Mom just called me. He was having dinner with my Aunt Alice, and he...just collapsed. He was dead before the ambulance arrived.” Levi’s voice dissolved in tears. “Come home, Nico. Please come home right now.”

“I’m on it. Babe, I’ll be there in fifteen minutes. Hold on. I’m on my way.” Nico beeped off, started the car and roared out the garage.

Fifteen minutes later, he burst through the apartment door, throwing his bag down and headed to the living area. He stopped short. There was Levi on the floor, rocking and crying in front of the TV. Nico walked over and sat next to Levi. He gently lifted Levi’s chin. “Hey, babe --”

Levi threw himself into Nico’s arms. His choking sobs shook Nico’s chest.

“I can’t believe he’s gone. Oh God, Nico, he’s gone!”

Nico rocked Levi and held him close. “Oh, baby, I’m so sorry, I’m so, so sorry.” Then Nico’s tears started running down his cheeks. In the silence of the apartment, as they continued to cry, Nico heard the wheezing voice of Mike Schmitt in his head:  
  
_“It all turns on a dime."_

***

“It’s probably inappropriate to say this but...you look really hot in a yarmulke.” Levi smiled at Nico.

Nico smiled back and touched his head. “Yeah, dude, not appropriate. But..thanks. I think.”

The two of them had stepped out onto the sprawling porch of the Weil-Greene Funeral Home, escaping the crush of family, friends and neighbors who had turned up for Mike Schmitt’s funeral. With Nico by his side, Levi also had had the dizzying sense of an extended coming-out to everyone. Not many Koreans attended a Jewish funeral at Weil-Greene. Everyone wanted to know the who, how and why of Nico Kim.

“I’m sorry if all of this is too much for you.” Levi looked at Nico with tired eyes. “It’s almost too much for me.” Nico smiled and shook his head.

“Babe, it’s fine. I’m just amazed at how many people are here.” Levi nodded and looked back in the building’s main window.

“Everyone always turns up for a wedding or a funeral.” Levi turned back and leaned into Nico. “And I think my cousin Nancy is a lesbian,” Levi whispered.

“You think?” Nico was mock incredulous. “Dude, she’s more butch than some of the Dykes on Bikes I’ve seen at San Francisco Pride!” Levi snorted, then quickly covered his mouth.

“Stop!” Levi tried hard to stifle a giggle. “My Aunt Shirley would lose her shit if she -- “

“Levi.” Rachel Schmitt had walked out to the porch and seen Nico and her son. Levi quickly arranged his face into a more somber expression.

“Hey, Mom. You okay?”

Rachel nodded, a little wearily. “I’m just tired.” She looked at Nico. “Thank you for coming today, Nico. I know it must be a little strange.” Nico reached out and took Levi’s hand.

“I wouldn’t think of not being here.” Nico looked at Levi and smiled.

Rachel smiled, and touched Nico’s arm. “Mike told me how much he enjoyed meeting you that night you and Levi had dinner with him.” Rachel’s smile faded. “He hadn’t been well for some time. But he was determined to see you for himself. He was so protective of Levi --" Rachel’s voice started to catch. Instantly, Levi and Nico surrounded her in a hug. Rachel took in a quivering sigh. “He was always there for us, wasn’t he, sweetheart?” Rachel asked of Levi. Levi nodded, his eyes suddenly hot and full. “He was best kind of father to you.”

 _“I don’t know why you would ever feel the need to tell me this.”_ Abruptly, Nico heard his father’s voice in his head. He turned away from Rachel and Levi, looking out from the porch in confusion.

Levi stepped in behind him. “Babe? What the matter? Are you okay?" Rachel came around the other side of him in concern.

“Nico, are you all right?” Nico remained stunned and silent. “Nico? _Nico?_ ” Rachel’s voice suddenly broke through. Nico shook his head.

“I’m...I’m fine, Rachel.” Nico turned to Levi. “Babe, it’s fine. I’m okay.” _Why now?_ Nico thought. _Why do I hear you now?_

“I think you two should go get some rest,” Rachel said. Levi started to protest, but Rachel cut him off. “Sweetie, you came straight from the hospital and you’re both tired. There’s no need to go to the cemetery. That whole rigmarole…” She fluttered hand like a fan and sighed. “Go on. Mike would understand.” Rachel kissed Levi’s forehead. She turned and kissed Nico on the cheek. “You both need a break.”

 _“What about what I need, Mom?”_ Nico now heard his younger self in his head. This was getting strange and creepy. Nico shook his head again, hoping to clear whatever this was from his mind.

“I think your mom’s right,” Nico said. “Let’s go home.” Nico kissed Rachel hurriedly on her cheek. He started off the porch, then turned and reached his hand out to Levi. “Babe?”

Levi hugged his mother. “I’ll call you later, okay?” Rachel nodded. Levi turned and grabbed Nico’s hand. They walked in silence towards the parking lot.

In the car, after they had settled in, Nico sat, silent, looking out the windshield. Levi had buckled-in and was waiting for Nico to start the car. He looked quizzically at Nico.

“Nico? Are you okay? Aren’t going to -- “

Nico turned abruptly to Levi. He breathed in sharply, then said, “I need to see my father.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be a Chapter 4.


	4. The Embrace: Truth and Reconciliation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico confronts his father. The results are not what he expected.

The only sound was the soft ticking from the massive grandfather clock.

Nico Kim stared out the the window wall of his parents’ expansive living room. The lights of San Francisco shone brightly in the distance. He focused on the view, then on his father’s reflection in the glass. He could see his father, still seated behind him, his elbows on his knees, hands clasped, head down.

The silence continued, the soft ticking measuring out the endless seconds.

Nico focused back on the distant city lights. Whatever happened, he was not leaving this room until he got an answer to the question he’d put to his father just moments before. Neither one of them was going to leave until that question was answered. Even if they had to stay in the room all night. No one was leaving. Not this time.

***

“You can’t be serious, Nico. I have to go with you!”

Nico shook his head. “Babe, please --”

“Nico! I have to be with you! This is huge. Why don’t you want --”

“Babe!” Nico’s voice was both sharp and soft. “You need to understand, I have to go alone. Dealing with my dad --”

“Is _huge!_ ” Levi looked at Nico with pleading eyes. “I can be in the corner, I won’t say a word. But you need me to be there!”

Nico pushed himself off the the lumpy on-call cot and walked to the center of the room. In the past few weeks, the room had been their refuge more for talking than making out. Their schedules had been ungodly and overwhelming. They’d barely been able to spend one evening together in the past two weeks.

Levi scooted off the bed and silently walked up to Nico, rubbing his shoulders. Nico did not turn around. Levi dropped his head onto Nico’s back.

“I just want to help. That’s all,” Levi said, his voice low. Nico sighed, then turned to face Levi, wrapping his arms around him.

“Babe,” Nico started, then fell silent. He closed his eyes, then opened them again. “You’ve helped me more than anyone ever has, or ever will. I think I’d have lost my fucking mind these past few months if you hadn’t been here for me.” Nico paused and drew another breath. “But just like when you came out to your mom, you needed to be alone with her. I need to be alone with my dad.” Levi’s crestfallen face made Nico hug Levi into him again. “You’ll be there with me, even if you’re here.” He pulled Levi away from him, putting his hands on Levi’s face. “You know that, don’t you?”

Levi dropped his head and nodded slowly. He looked up at Nico. “When are you going?”

“Friday night.”

“The day after tomorrow! How did you work it?”

Nico smirked. “Not easy, dude, believe me. Between Link, Karev and Bailey, it was like Grey-Sloan Game of Thrones.” Levi laughed, which made Nico laugh in-turn. “I’m flying down, having dinner with them, and flying back early Saturday morning.”

“That’s super-quick,” Levi said. “Are you going to be okay?”

Nico pulled Levi back into his arms. “The quicker I can get back to you, the better I’ll be.” Levi started to speak, but Nico cut him off. “Yeah, dude, I’m cheesy. Get over it.” He leaned down for a kiss, just as his phone went off.

“Seriously?” Nico yanked the phone out of his scrubs and glared at the screen. He sighed. “Back to work. I’ll catch up with you later” He turned and headed for the door.

“Nico.” Levi’s voice stopped him. Nico turned.

“Yeah, babe?”

Levi smiled. “You’re one brave fucking man, Nico Kim. I love you.”

“I love you back, Levi Joshua Schmitt.” Nico yanked the door open and disappeared down the hall, leaving Levi in the dim, empty room, alone and worried.

***

The clock began striking. Nico silently counted the deep, resonant chimes all the way to eleven. He suspected his father had done the same.

Dinner had been perfunctory. Nico’s mother had nervously presided over the meal as if she had been hired for the occasion. David Kim had been mostly silent.

Now, forty minutes later, they remained locked in their places: Nico at the giant window, his father sitting, head bowed. Finally, David Kim turned to look at his son.

“I never thought I would live to hear my son, my own son, ask me why I do not love him.” David’s voice was soft and sorrowful.

Nico turned, arms crossed tightly across his chest. “What? It’s not fair question?”

“I did not say that.” David rose from his chair. He seemed to Nico to be unsteady, almost disoriented -- a version of his father he had never seen before. David took a step towards Nico, and started speaking in Korean. “You are my son --”

Nico abruptly cut him off.

“No! We’re doing this in English!” While Nico’s Korean was flawless, he had always felt his father had a unfair advantage in Korean.

David nodded. “Very well.”  He walked past Nico to the window. He looked out at the lights, hands in his pockets. Then he turned back to his son.

“Nico, I don’t think you know much about love.” Nico immediately started to protest, but David held up a hand to silence him. “No. You asked me question. I have a right to answer.” Nico turned away from his father. “Nico,” David said, “I want you to look at me.” Nico turned slowly back to David, head down, a deep scowl on his face. “Look at me, Nico,” David insisted. “I need to see your face.” Nico slowly raised his head, eyes blazing.

“Is this better?” Nico asked, his voiced edged in sarcasm.

“Yes, it is,” David said, his voice still soft. “Even though it hurts me to see such anger in you.”

“Well, _appa_ , at least you see me.” Nico’s voice was as stoney as his face. “But I don’t see any hurt in you. I never have.”

“Perhaps that’s because _you_ don’t want to see _me_.” David’s steady gaze finally forced Nico to turn away again. “Ah,” David said, “I was right.” Nico suddenly wheeled on his father and exploded.

“Don’t tell me what I can or can’t see! I lived in this house! I saw every day -- _every day_ \-- how you treated me, and how you treated Gio! _Why?_ Why him and not me?” David Kim was silent, his face a mask of pain. Nico stepped into father. “Because I’m gay? _To you, am I less than he is?"_   Nico stared at his father in fury, his question hanging in the air.

David Kim gently placed his hands on Nico’s shoulders. To Nico’s astonishment, he saw his father’s tears begin to fall.

“Nico, my son -- my beloved son -- you will never be lesser in my eyes, for any reason.” David’s voice began to crack. He took a deep breath, and continued. “When I said you don’t know much about love, I meant my love for you. If I spent more time, more attention on your brother, it was because I felt I had to.” Nico flinched, but David held his son’s shoulders tightly. “ _Listen to me._ I don’t say it was always the right thing to do. I’ve made so many mistakes, Nico. More than I can count. Every parent does. And the biggest one I made was thinking you were always so -- so self-contained, so sure of what you wanted, that you didn’t need me as much as Gio did."

Nico’s face twisted in pain. “ _Appa_ , how could think that? I always needed you.” Nico’s eyes started to fill. “ _Appa_ , I still do.”

David Kim grabbed his son and pulled him in tightly. Nico wrapped his arms around his father and began to sob. “ _Appa, appa_ ,” Nico cried into his father’s shoulders.

“I’m so sorry, Nico,” David whispered to his son. “I’ve not been what you wanted -- what you needed as father.” David rubbed his son’s back. “I can’t fix the past, much as I want to. But I can do my best for you now.” Nico raised his head and looked at father. David smiled. “Who you love -- in the end, it’s not as important as how _well_ you love. You love this man, this Levi?”

Nico smiled for the first time since he’d arrived for dinner. “ _Appa_ \-- I love him with all my heart. He’s -- everything.”

“And he loves you?” David asked.  Nico nodded. “Good. Then that’s all that matters.” David patted Nico's cheek. “When I told my father I loved your mother, and I was going to marry her, he refused to accept it. I told him it didn’t matter to me what he thought. I meant that. That didn’t make me a bad son. It made me an _honest_ one. I knew your mother and I were meant to be together. If you and Levi know that, too -- then that truly is everything.” Nico hugged his father again.

“Thank you, _appa_ ,” Nico said. “And I’m sorry, too, for being so --”

“No, son. You said what needed to be said. And so did I.” David held Nico out at arms length. “Now. Let’s talk about something we can both agree on -- your oddball sister!”

They both broke down laughing.

***

It was early, way too early. Or maybe late. The redeye from San Francisco had fucked with his mind. Nico could barely focus on his watch.

Okay, 6 a.m. He could head home, grab a few hours sleep before heading to the hospital. Levi was already there, he knew that. His text had lit up Nico’s phone the minute the plane had landed:

 _waiting 4 u. u better tell me EVERYTHING!!!_  The all-caps followed by three smiley faces with heart eyes. Of course.

Nico wove his way among the thin crowds. He and Levi could find some time later that day, maybe in their favorite on-call room. He had so much to tell Levi, so many thing to share. Nico’s mind was whirling as he passed the security area. He looked down at his phone to see if his Uber was on the way, not breaking stride. Then Nico looked up.

And he saw him. And stopped in his tracks.

Levi was standing not ten feet from Nico, holding a bouquet of -- were those _roses?_ The smile on his face was silly and beautiful and oh my god what the actual --

“Hey,” Levi called out. “Remember me?”

And then Nico was running, running as Levi opened his arms and leapt into Nico, spinning them both in a dizzy swirl as Nico kept repeating “oh my god, oh my god!” Then Nico kissed Levi with a hunger he’d never felt before now. Levi responded in force. Sea-Tac’s security area disappeared.

“Jeez, get a room,” Levi heard a guy mutter as he swerved around them. Levi broke the kiss and retorted, “We’ve got one, thanks!” Nico sputtered with laughter as Levi slid from Nico’s embrace.

“Babe! How did -- you’re supposed to be on shift --”

“Nico Kim isn’t the only one who can play Grey-Sloan Game of Thrones!” Levi giggled. Nico smiled. “I’ve got friends in high places,” Levi continued. “Well, not really, but --”

Nico cut him off with another kiss. Then Levi giggled against Nico’s lips. “So I’m shushed again, huh?”

Nico pulled away, shaking his head. “Never.” Then he smirked. “Well, maybe a little.”

Levi’s smile faded into concern. “Nico, I just want to know one thing.”

“What, baby?”

Levi gently put the bouquet down, and cupped Nico’s face with both hands.

“Tell me, honestly," Levi said quietly. “Did you get what you needed?”

Nico placed his hands over Levi’s, and nodded slowly. “Yeah, I think I did. I really do.” Levi smiled. “But even more than that,” Nico said, “I realized something else.”

“What’s that?”

Nico pulled away and turned to the backpack he’d dropped beside him on the floor. He rooted through one of the pockets, grabbing a small item but keeping it hidden in his left hand.

Levi looked at Nico, puzzled. “So…?” Levi started to say.

Nico tuned back, and slowly took Levi’s left hand in his right. “I realized that what I need, more than anything else in the world, is you.” Levi started to speak, but nothing came out. Nico continued. “That night, remember that night when I told you about my brother and father?” Levi nodded silently. “I told you on the phone, when I was coming back home, that I needed you. It was true that night. It’s true now. It’ll always be true.”

“Nico,” Levi whispered, “what are you trying to say?”

Nico smiled, then slowly got down on one knee.

“Nico,” Levi gasped, “what are you --”

“Shush,” Nico said. Levi stopped, staring wide-eyed at Nico. “Sea-Tac isn’t exactly where I thought this would happen, but…” Nico opened his left hand, exposing a worn gold ring with some faded characters on it. He worked it onto his fingers, and then slipped it onto Levi’s ring finger. “Levi Joshua Schmitt, I need you. I love you. I want to spend my life with you. Will you marry me?”

In that moment, it seemed everything stopped. Time, sound, motion, all came to one point of stillness.

And then, tears running freely down his face, Levi choked out his answer. “Yes! _Yes!_ Nico DramaQueen Kim! _I will marry you!_ ” Levi dropped to his knees, threw his arms around Nico’s neck, and kissed him with all the force he had. Then they both suddenly heard the smattering of applause. They looked around and saw four or five people, who had stopped and were beaming at them. “Thanks, folks!” Levi said, causing Nico to snort.

Levi pulled his hands from Nico’s neck and looked at the ring. It was a little big, but beautiful. Then Levi squinted. He saw the characters that wrapped around it:

나의 사랑하는이를 위해 영원히

“Nico, is that Korean?”

Nico nodded. “My father found the ring last night, and gave it to me before I left this morning. It was my grandfather’s.” Levi looked up at Nico in amazement. “My grandmother gave it to him on their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary.”

“Nico, I...what does it say?”

Nico gently took Levi’s hand and read the script. “For my beloved, forever.” Nico stared deeply into Levi’s eyes. “I can’t improve on that.”

Levi wrapped his arms around Nico again. “I love you, Nico. I don’t know how to say it any other way.”

“That way’s perfect, dude.” Nico held onto Levi tightly. “Perfect.”

Levi pulled away, and wiped the tears from his face with the crook of his arm. “So, I could try and bend one the rose stems into a ring, but it might hurt.” Nico laughed.

“Babe, the roses are beautiful.” Nico got up, pulling Levi up with him. Nico’s phone chimed. He glanced at it; the Uber was waiting. “But if you don’t mind, I think one of the roses needs to make a stop before we go home.” Nico grabbed his backpack and took Levi’s hand as Levi gathered up the bouquet. Levi looked confused.

“Nico, what do you mean?”

Nico leaned in and kissed Levi lightly. “I’ll tell you in the car.”

***

Nico took Levi’s hand. They were both silent. In their own way, each was giving thanks. A chill breeze ruffled their hair. Nico turned to Levi.

“Are you good?” Nico asked. Levi turned to Nico and smiled.

“Yeah. You?” Nico nodded in return. “Okay. Then let’s go home.”

They turned, and walked hand-in-hand from the granite headstone. Below the inscription, “Michael Abraham Schmitt 1949-2019” lay a rose and a piece of Nico’s notebook paper, secured with two small stones. In Nico’s flowing handwriting, the two lines read:

 _Shalom berakhah ve-tovah_ _._

_It all turns on a dime._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where I leave our boys for now. I don't know if I'll continue with their story after this. Perhaps. But I wish them love and happiness for their future.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who read this, and left comments and/or kudos. Always appreciated.

**Author's Note:**

> I am doing my best to be respectful of Nico's Korean heritage, by doing due-diligence research. Any cultural insensitivity is absolutely unintended.


End file.
